What do people think of marriage?


Article by Anonymous

Marriage is a blessed contract between two people. It brings two families together as one regardless of any culture or race. It is very sad to see nowadays people regard marriage as some kind of a business contract. This is where people trade their values in order to secure their long preserved traditions. It is not just that, when people think of marriage, they start imagining a movie in their minds. A handsome hero will come someday riding a horse to ask her hand in marriage. People wait years and years to marry their dream girl…

It comes to a point where they want the perfect spouse without thinking of themselves as not being perfect. This goes for me as well.

In a time like this, it just gets so chaotic that marriage itself becomes a diamond sitting in a jewelry store which would take us years to go buy it.
A lot of young Muslims want to get married however the society makes it really hard these days. There is too much too it and there are too many “great expectations”. When the great expectations are not met, and even though a couple gets married, those expectations become a dream that never gets fulfilled. People become unhappy.
Marriage is not all this. It’s not about the money. It’s not about how beautiful you look or how much you make. We have a goal in this life. We want to get to Jannah. Why are we deceiving ourselves with the illusions of this world? How is it that we are valuing the glitter of this life instead of rushing towards the hereafter?
Too many tensions! Marriage is so stressful. It starts from getting everyone to agree on a proposal to the mahr to the red or white roses at the wedding Banquet!! Every smallest thing; from showing off to the people to the financial is burden either on the groom or the bride’s parents or vise versa.
We all think about the values, the culture, the society etc. We think about what will people say? For example: Someone once said: ” My cousin’s wedding had a musical orchestra and I want the same for my wedding as well! I am so excited!!”

None of this matters. Marriage is beautiful. It brings so much joy and peace to families. It’s about building a new community and raising strong Muslim families.

It does not matter what people think. It matters if Allah is pleased with us or not?
If we marry a person who is committed to the Deen. We will be happy. We can work towards our Hereafter insha’Allah.

Once there was a woman who was proposed by a poor man. The girl did not consider him because he was poor although he was pious and had a good character. A few days later, she gets a proposal from a rich man. She agrees to get married to him. He was the perfect man of her dreams. A day before her wedding, the bride goes out with her mother for shopping. At the mall, she saw her fiancé with the poor man who once proposed to her. The bride’s mother saw both of them as well. She goes to her daughter’s fiancé to convey her greetings to him. However, before she goes to meet him, she sees him yelling at the poor man. She gets astonished to see his rude behavior. She gets very angry and tells him not to be so harsh towards the poor man. The groom didn’t care that it was his mother in law to be. He had no respect for the poor or anyone giving respect to the poor. After this incident, the bride breaks her engagement with the rich man and marries the poor man. In a few years, the poor man becomes richer than the man she was going to marry. Wealth never stays. One night we can be rich and in the other we can lose it. It is our good morals and attitude that stays with us no matter what.

It is easy to show respect to the rich people and to the higher authorities but it is a great deal to show respect to the poor.

Allah’s Messenger (Sall Allahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) said:

“There is no kindness in a thing but it makes it beautiful, and there is no absence of kindness in a thing but it makes it repugnant.” (Ibid)

May Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala grant us all pious spouses Ameen

“Wealth has no permanence: it comes in the morning, and at night it is scattered to the winds. Physical beauty too has no importance, for a rosy face is made pale by the scratch of a single thorn. Noble birth also is of small account, for many become fools of money and horses. Many a nobleman’s son has disgraced his father by his wicked deeds. Don’t court a person full of talent either, even if he seems exquisite in that respect: take warning from the example of Iblis. Iblis had knowledge, but since his love was not pure, he saw in Adam nothing but a figure of clay. ~ Rumi, Mathnavi

This is a reminder for myself first and to others inshaAllah.