O You who have lost your loved one!

Experience by Anonymous

Bismillah Ar Rahman Ar Raheem. Assalam Alaykum Wa rahmatullahi Wa barkatuhu. In our hearts, somewhere… somehow there is a fear. This fear is about losing someone we love. This fear haunts us sometimes in our nightmares and sometimes it gets us worried. However we all know that Death is inevitable. It will come at its appointed time and no one can stop it. Many years ago, when my cousin’s father passed away (May Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala grant him a high place in Jannah Ameen) I told her this one Hadith I read in my Sahih Al Bukhari book.

After listening to the Hadith, she smiled. Alhamdulillah.

Narrated Abu Huraira (Radi Allahu Anhu): Allah’s Messenger (Sall Allahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) said: “Allah says, ‘I have nothing to give but Paradise as a reward to my slave, a true believer of Islamic Monotheism who, if I cause his dear friend (or relative) to die, remains patient (and hopes for Allah’s Reward).’” [8:432-O.B] Sahih Al Bukhari

Allahu Akbar!! How Exalted and Merciful is Allah!! He takes away something from us only to reward us. His Mercy is greater than anything.

Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala loves us so much. No matter how much we study or do anything, we can never even imagine how much He loves us!! He takes care of our smallest things. He grants us so many blessings without even us asking Him. He is perfect and Ever-Living. To Him we belong and to Him we will return inshaAllah. May we all return to Him in a state when He is pleased with us Ameen

Yesterday, one of our dear sisters in Islam, her father passed away. Inna lillahi Wa inna ilayhi rajioun.

All I can say to her is:

“O my dear friend. I do not know how you feel. I am far away from you and there is not much I can do. What you are going through is a lot and no one else can feel what you are going through right now. All I can do is make du’a for you. May Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala shower His mercy and love upon you. May He grant you tranquility and make it easy on you. Ameen”

We all say we understand but we really don’t. It’s hard to understand a pain when we ourselves haven’t been through the same thing. However Allah knows and He knows everything you feel. He listens to every whisper in our heart. He knows every inch of pain we feel. He sees our tears. He is there for us. The world is asleep. The birds are in their nest. The moon is shining in the same way it shone last night. The night is the same like yesterday except for you because you have lost someone you had yesterday. Only Allah knows if we live by tomorrow or not. However we should not despair. We have Allah and that is all that matters. He is our best friend. He is that friend who never leaves us. He is there with us in this world. He is there with us in our grave. Most of all, He shades us under His throne on the Day of Judgement. SubhanAllahi Wa bihamdihi SubhanAllahil Azim

When we have lost someone, our first step is to be patient so that we can be rewarded by Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala inshAllah.

We are always in need of His mercy. I would say if we wake up for Tahajjud and pray at least two Rak’at of Salah. After this make du’a to Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala. It is okay to cry but it has no benefit. If you cry in front of Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala, every tear is valuable. He will listen to you and He will grant you tranquility of the heart. You will feel so much peace inside your heart and you will know that even though you have lost your loved one. Allah will take care of that person in the grave by widening it and shedding light upon it.

Don’t cry. They are more closer to Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala. They wouldn’t want to see you cry. Smile because their journey has now ended and they love to meet Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala. Death is the beginning of a new journey which is the hereafter. Glad tidings to a believer.

I remember reading in my favorite book, Ar Raheeq Al Makhtum, how our beloved Prophet Muhammad (Sall Allahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) comforted the martyrs during His time.

“One day, at midnight Allah’s Messenger (Sall Allahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) went to Al-Baqi’ cemetery, and begged Allah to forgive the martyrs of Islam. He (Sall Allahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) said:
“Peace be upon you, O inhabitants of the grave! The morning that dawns upon you is more relieving than that which dawns upon the living. Afflictions are approaching like cloudy lumps of a dark night – the last of which follows the first. The last one is bearing more evil than the first.”
He comforted them saying:
“We are also coming to you.”
(Ar Raheeq Al Makhtum page 550)

Our Duas always help our loves ones. If we love them so much then we will make lots of dua for them inshAllah.

O Allah, forgive the deceased and elevate his station among those who are guided. Send him along the path of those who came before, and forgive us and him, O Lord of the worlds. Enlarge for him his grave and shed light upon him in it. (Muslim 2/634)

O Allah, forgive him and have mercy on him and give him strength and pardon him. Be generous to him and cause his entrance to be wide and wash him with water and snow and hail. Cleanse him of his transgressions and white cloth is cleansed of stains. Give him an abode better than his home, and a family better than his family and a wife better than his wife. Take him into Paradise and protect him from the punishment of the grave [and from the punishment of Hell-fire]. Muslim 2/663.

O Allah, forgive our living and our dead, those who are with us and those who are absent, our young and our old, our menfolk and our womenfolk. O Allah, whomever you give life from among us give him life in Islam, and whomever you take away from us take him away in Faith. O Allah, do not forbid us their reward and do not send us astray after them. (Ibn Majah 1/480, Ahmad 2/368)

We can say this invocation for the bereaved:

“Surely, Allah takes what is His, and what He gives is His, and to all things He has appointed a time … so have patience and be rewarded. (Al Bukhari 2/80)

It is also good to say this:

“‘A’dhamallahu ‘ajraka, Wa ‘ahsana ‘azaa’aka Wa ghafara limayyitika.
“May Allah magnify your reward, and make perfect your bereavement, and forgive your departed.” (An-Nawawi, Kitabul-‘Athkar, p. 126)

To all of us, let this be a reminder that we never know when we will die. Let’s do our best to live this life as a traveller inshaAllah.

Narrated (Mujahid): Ibn ‘Umar (Radi Allahu Anhu) said, “Allah’s Messenger (Sall Allahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) took hold of my shoulder and said, ‘Be in this world as if you were a stranger or a traveller.’” (The subnarrator added): Ibn ‘Umar used to say, ‘If you survive till the evening, do not expect to be alive in the morning, and if you survive till the morning, do not expect to be alive in the evening, and take from your health for your sickness, and (take) from your life for your death.” (This means, ‘Do good deeds when you are healthy and alive before you become sick and die” [8:425-O.B] Sahih Al Bukhari
“… The Appointment to you is for a Day, which you cannot put back for an hour [or a moment] nor put forward.” (Qur’an 34:30)

Let this be a reminder to me first and to you all inshaAllah. I know we are afraid of losing our loves ones. It is Allah’s Decree and we have to accept it inshaAllah. Most of all, those who have parents who are alive, please give them a call and talk to them. This is the precious time we can spend with them. We will never know when we will lose our loved ones. Let’s cherish every moment and not wait until an occasion to talk to our loved ones. It’s a great blessing to have parents Alhamdulillah. Their experience, wisdom and knowledge are so amazing mashaAllah. There is always something to learn from them and their happiness pleases Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala which makes us happy also. May Allah Subhana Wa ta’ala forgive us all and unite us all with our loved ones in Jannah inshAllah.

28 responses to “O You who have lost your loved one!”

  1. Thank you so much for this. I recently lost my grandfather and you dont know how much this has helped me. Please make dua for him.

    JazakAllah kher. May Allah bless you and your family

  2. Allahumma Ameen

    Alhamdulillah. Waiyyakum inshAllah. I will keep your grandfather in my Duas inshAllah.

    – Writer

  3. MashaAllah. This brings tears to my eyes. I lost my mother, who was my only best friend, two months ago and it has been such a hard time especially since I have to continue studying. Reading your article helped a lot, knowing that she really is in a better place insyaAllah.

    JazakAllah khair.

  4. Assalam Alaykum Wa rahmatullahi Wa barkatuhu, This article made me very happy after losing my father "Aliuddin Shaikh" on March 4th, 2013. I request all Muslim brothers and sisters to pray for my father. He was indeed a great son, husband, father and overall a great human being. May Allah grant your grandfather and my father "Aliuddin Shaikh" into the highest place in Jannah. Ameen

    Jazak'Allah for this beautiful post 🙂

  5. May Allah (SWT) grant you and your father the highest place in Jennah. And may Allah (SWT) bless the Muslim Ummah and protect them from the Hell-fire and grant us all the chance to see Him in Heaven. Ameen.

  6. Thanks for sharing such a wonderful post! sed into tears. I lost my most loving and caring grandmother last nigh. May Allah(SWT) rest her soul in peace.Ameen.

  7. Thank you for writing this post. My aunt who was like another mother to me recently passed away. She was like an angel, selfless and we were very close. Its been very hard for me, please all keep my aunt Saliha in your prayers.

  8. i dont know how i would feel if i lost a loved one……. but yet the fear haunts me
    thank you and may allah grant all your loved ones in a place in jannah

  9. Thank you so much for this post. It was exactly what I needed to read. It's my first time losing a loved one, my closest aunt. It's been hard but InsyaAllah with the content of this post, I will be able to cope better. May Allah SWT rest her soul in peace.

  10. I lost my husband two months ago. The last deed he did was praying Esha in hospital before going into a coma at 1am. I helped him do wudu with a cup and bowl before I went home to put the kids to sleep. I miss him dearly and ask everyone here to pray for my husband Arif who was a lovely man with a heart of gold for his family and friends and the best husband I could have asked for. I pray we are reunited in Jannah.

  11. Such a helpful post, at times like these we all need reminders and reassurances that all we ever need and needed is Allah swt for he is our creator he knows us better than we know ourselves. To all those who have lost loved ones may Allah grant them the highest jannah and reunite us all there with our loved ones. I lost my mother recently so i please make dua for her also. ALLAH tests his believing servants with a loss of wealth a loved one something which they love. May we pass this test and may Allah grant us all sabr. Ameen.

  12. Thank you so much, this means sooo much to me. You have no idea how this article helped me, May Allah reward you for all the efforts you put in to write this article and make you successful in this world and the Hereafter Ameen Suma Ameen Ya Rabbal Alameen.

    keep up the good work, Allah is really happy from you because of this good deed that you did.
    Asalamualaikum Wa Rahmat Allahi Wabarakatuhu.

  13. Asalaamualaikum….

    I lost my love before 2years but still i can't accept it….
    He is not only my lover but everything to me…
    Allah call him back…. I don't know what to do?

    Another thing is his father is asking me that :where is he?
    How can I convince him? Somebody Plz tell me..he is still considering me as his daughter in law…

    Plz suggest me best Dua that I can take for my lost love….

    I miss him each and every second of my life…

  14. I lost my 17 year old son on 5-Oct-2015 . He was doing Computer engineering , and was smartest in his batch Mash Allah . He had scored 97% in his 12 th exams .
    After the incidence , I read Quran and Hadith and every moment is spent in Zikr of Allah . Alhamdullilah – Allah has given strength , Sabr and positivity .

    It is very important that we understand that the life in Earth is temporary and our Test and trial . Having strong Eeman – and complete Faith on Allah's Decree is the expected Response .
    Allah blesses us with loved ones , children and family members and he can at anytime take them back .

  15. Slmz. I lost my mum in 2011. She had cancer. And on 30th Dec 2015 my father had a heart attack and passed away. I am the only child. I lost hope in life. I had a dream 2 weeks ago. Saw my father waving at me from a really high balcony, then I saw my mother coming from behind him. I keep telling myself that they are together in Jannah. I only feel sorry for myself as I am now an orphan. �� please keep my parents in your duas… Halima

  16. I lost my Father on 7th May, 2016. I want to ask Muslim Ummah to make adua for him for Allah to have mercy on his soul, widen and shed light upon his grave and place him in Jannatul Firdaus.

  17. I lost 9 kittens and 2 adult cats all of them so dear to me…i stayed awake day and night to feed one of them for 26 days but suddenly she died i don't know why..i loved her like my mother lives me i am devastated and shattered..the moment she was dieing i begged cried n prayed to save her but nothing happened my baby died.m broken i dont find any reason 2smile i dont want to eat i just want her back i cant accept it and god did not listen to me i begged him like anything he took her away..i am a namazi i do sadaqah but this incident has made me lose hope in the existence of god.i kept begging still nothing worked and she died for no reason.i dont want to worship him because he knew i will not be able to live without my cats still he took them all away from me for no reason.there is no god n prayers are meaningless

  18. I lost 9 kittens and 2 adult cats all of them so dear to me…i stayed awake day and night to feed one of them for 26 days but suddenly she died i don't know why..i loved her like my mother lives me i am devastated and shattered..the moment she was dieing i begged cried n prayed to save her but nothing happened my baby died.m broken i dont find any reason 2smile i dont want to eat i just want her back i cant accept it and god did not listen to me i begged him like anything he took her away..i am a namazi i do sadaqah but this incident has made me lose hope in the existence of god.i kept begging still nothing worked and she died for no reason.i dont want to worship him because he knew i will not be able to live without my cats still he took them all away from me for no reason.there is no god n prayers are meaningless

  19. I lost my bestfriend and my lover. We werent married but we had been in love as far as time can reach to. I am just 18 years and he was 20. Yes maybe this is not ethical but it has been 3 months and i cry every night for him. I hope he is in a better place. Please pray for him…

  20. I lost my 16 year old son just recently in August 16, it was the worst day of my life, I couldn't understand how could he be taken away from me just like that. He was the most precious the best thing that ever happened to me, he was very bright, kind and ever so gentle, never says no to anything I ask him to do. Whenever he will be late from school he'd text me saying what time I should be expecting him and he'd come bac exactly at that time. He was much loved by his friends, relatives, whoever knows him remembers him as the smartest, most responsible and very mature minded kid. I've never encountered any challenges bring him up. I had a very special bound with him. I'm very sad, I miss him so much, and I wish I could go back to the day and hold him in my arms and tell him not to go out on that particular day. He was having lunch with me and next minute I know he was never going to come back. I remember myself saying to the police:" how is this even possible?" Inna Illahi Wa Inna Lilahi Rajion (we belong to Allah, surely we will return to Allah). I make duas to Allah(SWT) grant my sabi child a beautiful son amongst the people in Jannah Firdausi, and grant me saber. I have planned to go to Umrah in December. It's almost impossible to accept that he'd never come back and whenever I looked I'd not be able to see him, talk to him or hug him. He was my world, my sunshine, best kid any mum could ever ask for, and that was what I used to tell him, and I used to tell him I'm very proud to be his mum, I thank Allah has given me a chance to be a mum to such a wonderful human being. Some days I just feel like I can't fit into my own skin, I feel like it's impossible to do anything without my son being around. Masha Allah you have found your strength and sabr, Insha Allah I will find mine too. He was part of me I just don't understand how can a mum live without seeing her own child for the rest of her life.

  21. Assalamu alaykum dear sister. May Allah SWT grant your son jannatul Firdaus. It is not easy, but there is light and ease at the end of this struggle. Try to be patient, life is so short, and everything has its reward, before you know it you will reunite with him in Jannah inshAllah. Alhamdulillah you are Muslim so you know one day we will be reunited again with our loved ones 🙂

  22. Thank u @writer of Ds post
    It convinced my faith more in a better way. I was helplessly wondering if really I lost my loved one whom i could even never meet. But now inshallah after reading this I am happy to feel it that he is in a better place & smiling.
    Plz pray for him as dua is the way which put our loved one much safe & better.
    Someday we will be reunited in Jannah.

  23. Sister I lost my father to cancer after begging Allah for his health he had high hopes he would get bbe but Allah took him away he did the even utter a word of dismay he said alhamdulilah each times one one asked him how he was,he dies within 2 months of cancer we are broken and devastated as a family but alhamdulilah never uttered such ridiculous words I still thank Allah for giving me my dad as a father I pray for him and I am not angry at what Allah has done I am happy I am sad that I lost the love of my life and that is my dad I use to cry like a baby when he use to get I'll or got a cold how do you ti k I feel?it's only been 3 months since he has passed away I cry every day and everytime bit only to Allah but I still don't question Allahs doings why would I death does come for everyone and please sister do astaghfirullah for what you are saying and no am not a pious Muslim I do sins but I try .your best to please Allah!so you have not gone through the pain I am going through you don't know how it feels like to lose a paren't till you lose one may Allah give your parents a long healthy life but do t utter stupid words out of your mouth