Assalam Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barkatuhu
A mother in law is an amazing person. She is the one with whose blessings a man marries a woman. Then with those blessings, they live a life with peace and harmony. I have seen many sisters make dua for a righteous, loving and a caring husband. They spend years making this dua. It’s great and I highly recommend making dua asking Allah Subhana Wa ta’ala for a good spouse. Most of the time the sister’s Duas do get accepted Alhamdulillah. However when it comes to “mother in law”, many sisters are not happy about it.
I think it’s important to make dua for a good husband as well as a good family. This is because once we get married we will either live with the family or even if we live separately we interact with them often. So asking Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala for a family who loves us is the best thing. It will bring so much love and peace in our life.
Now a days and it also has been the case of the olden days, a mother in law is showed as someone who doesn’t treat her daughter in law well.
This is so not true. There are mother in laws who treat their daughter in laws like their own daughters. A mother in law is the queen of the family and the people around her are the prince and the princesses.
Now, I know after marriage it takes time to get to know your husband and also his family. I have thought about a few steps that will help you have a great relationship with your mother in law Insha’Allah:
1. Think positive
You are newly married and this is the first time you will be living with your mother in law. Start with good and positive thoughts about her. Imagine her as someone very beautiful with a pure heart. If you think this way about her, you will be great with her.
2. Respect her
Always show respect to your mother in law. When you wake up in the morning, dress neatly looking fresh and greet her with a smile.
3. Treat her well
Treat your mother in law with special kindness. Don’t be rude or displeasing to her in any manner. If you do not agree with what she said, then be silent or say it in a way that doesn’t make her feel upset.
4. Make her feel important
A lot of times, mother in law feels that her son is not spending much time with her. It’s true after marriage, sons get busy and spend more time with their wives. Have your husband spend good time with his mother. Tell him to bring surprise gifts for her (without an occasion). If your husband asks for your opinion, give him your opinion but have him ask his mother as well.
5. Honor her
Honor your mother in law in every way. Always remember that your mother in law has greater rights over your husband. His paradise is at her feet. So, make sure she is always happy and he is good to her.
6. Be helpful
Ask her if she needs any help. Be there for her.
7. Have fun together
Be good friends with her. Go out for shopping together. Try to see if you both have something in common and do it together.
8. Treat her like your own mother
Yes. You are the part of the family now. A mother in law is a mother also. If she treats you like her own daughter then show her the love that you have for your own mother.
I truly believe that love can change anything and about everything. If we are nice and kind to others, then no matter how much they don’t like us they will come to love us. Islam cleared away all the diseases from the heart. During the times of Jahiliyah, there uses to be evil plots against daughter in law or the mother in law. The jealousy and hatred would take place in that relationship. However, when Islam came it showed us how to be with others and how much we should respect our elders. A good mother in law always cares and treats her daughter in law well as her own daughter. If her son and daughter in law have a dispute, she gives them the best advice based on her own life experiences. A Muslim mother in law is wise and intelligent. When she looks at the proposals for her son, she makes sure that her daughter in law is fully committed to her deen and welcomes her with lots of love.
“Nor can Goodness and Evil be equal. Repel [Evil] with what is better: then will he between whom and you was hatred become as it were your friend and intimate! And no one will be granted such goodness except those who exercise patience and self-restraint – none but persons of the greatest good fortune.” (Quran 41:34-35)
May Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala keep us on the straight path always. Ameen
Article submitted by Ishrat Ali