Bismillah Har Rahman Hir Raheem.
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds, and blessings and peace be upon our Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu alaihi wassalam) and upon his family and companions and those who follow him.
Nikaah originally means ‘aqd’ or ‘uniting’, is the most sacred and beautiful relation between a man and a woman. The Noble Qur’an stresses upon the people to marry as it the most effective means whereby one can lead a virtuous life free from immorality, a means which provides physical, mental and emotional security and stability.
Holy Qur’an states:
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” (30:21)
What I am going to share may seem very strange and things of the old order; to the ignorant society caught and torn between vices of gender equality and inflated egos’, but Insha’Allah it will at least act as an eye-opener. I personally take this platform to thank, appreciate and apologize to my husband, to let him know that I value and treasure his companionship, his unwavering support and his unrelenting love.
SubhanAllah, it won’t certainly be an exaggeration when I say that he is the most Allah-conscious, humble, selfless, thoughtful, wise, kind, noble, good-humored, devoted, just, well-mannered, loving human being any one will ever come across, a man who can go to any extent to love and please his family and that too without him even making you realize that. Yet, I in my bouts of temporary insanity and bruised ego or perhaps because of extreme love for him I overlook all these qualities of him. Alhumdullilah, how can I forget the fact that I am what I am because of him…due to him? He is the one who brought me out from the deep recesses of darkness and ignorance. He has taught me to be a woman in the strict and real sense of the word. He has taught me to be loving, sacrificing, dignified, and modest; he has instilled in me the quality of chastity and charity, he has helped me differentiate between right and wrong. He has very gracefully and subtly accepted my many flaws and weaknesses and helped me in turn mold them into my strengths and that too for my advantage. How can I ever be ungrateful to him, knowing very well that in doing so I am seeking the displeasure of my Creator-my Allah?
Narrated by Abu Hurayrah: The Prophet (Sallal lahi alaihi wassalam) said “Had it been permissible that a person may prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered that a wife should prostrate herself before her husband.” (Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 285)
How can I secure my place in the Jannah and seek the pleasure of Allah Subhan Ta’ala, when I sometimes knowingly and many a times unknowingly hurt this person who has been accorded such a status, who has brought so much love, peace, joy and tranquility in my life. I, for once, don’t want to be politically correct, I want to be selfish……Insha’Allah I want to reserve my place in the Jannah and in doing so my true test as a believing woman is to earn the love and satisfaction of my husband. I want [to] tell him that he means the world to me, Alhumdullilah I am very happy and whatever limited knowledge I have and whatever little beauty I have is all for him alone.
If any woman could understand the gravity of displeasing her husband they would do everything to please him at all times. I am no one to advise, not even close to being a preacher or an ideal Muslim wife but it is my earnest request to all believing wives, to always endeavor to be devoutly obedient, to be the comfort and pleasure of the eyes of their husbands’, to be his friend and always appreciate them for everything they do for us and our children. The rewards for obeying and keeping our duties to him in things lawful are equal to attending Jumma prayers, attending funerals and fighting in the cause of Allah.
All I can say is that life is too short to waste time in trivial pursuits, revenge, disagreements and arguments. I pray to Allah, to help me overcome all my shortcomings, to help me make patience my armor and my humility my dignity, to help me follow the footsteps of Asiyah, Maryam, Khadijah, Fatimah, Aisha, Sarah, Umm Salamah, Umm Saudah.
Experience submitted by Sarah Zameer Shaikh