Do not despair when it comes to marriage!


Bismillah Ar Rahman Ar Raheem
Assalam Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barkatuhu

Marriage is Sunnah and also half our deen. It’s a new door that leads to happiness as it unites two people and creates new familial bonds. When I think of marriage, I think of the Sunnah of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (Sall Allahu Alayhi Wa Sallam). I think of love, mercy, compassion, friendship, and happiness.


Today we are living in a time where it is very difficult to get married. Culture seems to play a bigger role in marriage than the religion itself which causes much distress among families especially youngsters who suffer the most. If I ask a young Muslim brother why he hasn’t married? He would say, “I do not have the means to support a wife, I am looking for a job.” Another would say, “I haven’t found the right person.” Then, the excuses build up. When I ask the Muslim sisters, They say “education” and some say, “I will when the times comes InshaAllah.”

While all these great excuses and cultural barriers between parents build up, the people remain unmarried for a very long time.

This is when I have found many people getting depressed. Some have lost hope and think that they will never get married.

This is very sad. I feel guilty writing this but this is a very important issue and is an advice to myself first, then others InshaAllah.

The other day someone told me a story about a beautiful girl who was so proud of herself she would reject every good proposal that would come to her thinking they are not good enough. Finally, there came to a point where she was getting older and the proposals stopped coming to her. While in desperation, there finally came a proposal which was was distinct from the others and she finally accepted it but got rejected at the end. The reason being that she got a lot older than she used to be. This made the girl commit suicide. Note: this is not a true story. Moral: Look into the proposals you receive because they are a blessing from Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala and do not reject them unless you have a good reason (Advice to my self first and to everyone InshaAllah)

The reason for mentioning all this is to remind my dear brothers and sisters in Islam not to despair if you feel you cannot get married at the moment. Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala will have someone for you. Do not lose hope thinking that you will never get married.

Here are a few steps that may facilitate the process of marriage:

1. Maintain a good relationship with Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala. The other day I reflected upon this thinking to myself, if I do not have a good relationship with Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala, then how will I expect myself to have a good relationship with others? Work on your relationship with Allah Subhana Wa ta’ala. Leave your sins and take yourself to account. Check your attitude towards others daily including your anger level, character, patience and if its faltering, work on it. Also when it comes to Salah, rush for it. Pray with Khushoo. Remember, the happiest person is the one who submits himself to Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala.

2. Tell your parents. If you are closer to your mom or dad, tell them. In other cases, if you have a big brother or a sister who is closer to you, ask them to talk to your parents on your behalf. Try to convince them with a kind attitude. If you are good to your parents, they will definitely listen to you.

3. Make lots of duas. I have known a few sisters who have made lots of duas for righteous husbands. I have seen them very happy in life Masha’Allah. Furthermore, make sure to wake up in the night for Tahajjud and ask Allah for a good spouse. Once you have done that, keep making dua until a good proposal comes to you. Do not stop no matter what. This is where Shaytan will get to you! Do not Stop!

4. Put your complete trust in Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala.

‘The emaan of a person cannot be true until he has more trust in that which is in Allah’s Hands than that which is in his own hands.’ [Ali Ibn Abi Talib RadiAllahu ‘Anhu]

Be like a child, who would say, “I asked my mother to bring me my lunch to school.” The lunch time almost comes to an end and all his friends would say, “I don’t think your mom is gonna come. The lunch time is almost over.” The child would not stop and will say over again, “Say anything you want, I know my mom will come and give me the best lunch ever!”. No sooner than he turns around, he finds his mother holding his favorite lunch. The child would then tell his friend, “I told you, she would! My mother is amazing. She loves me so much.”

The reason I have mentioned the story of a mother and a child is to show the pure innocence of the child. How he trusted his mother and waited patiently on her that she will bring him his favorite food he asked her to get. Also the relationship between a mother and her child is amazingly remarkable. A mother loves her child so much and never asks for anything in return. In your life you will always find people who love you but no other love in the world compares to that of a mother.

Now, imagine your relationship with Allah Subhana Wa ta’ala. Allah loves us more than our mothers. So if you ask Him for something, don’t lose hope, know He will give you the best! Always Expect the best from Allah Subhana Wa ta’ala.

5. Always remember after hardship comes ease. So be patient.

“Life is like a coin. Pleasure and pain are the two sides. Only one side is visible at a time. But remember other side is waiting for its turn.”

6. When things go wrong always say:

حسبنا آالله ونعم آلوكيل

“Allah (Alone) is Sufficient for us, and He is the Best Disposer of affairs (for us).”[Surah Al ‘Imran 173]

It doesn’t matter if you get rejected by someone. You never know what’s the good behind it.

Allah says in the Qur’an:

“It may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.” (2: 216)

Leave your affairs to Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala. What is meant to happen will happen InshaAllah and you will get rewarded for your patience. I can almost imagine myself in Jannah enjoying the fruits and drinks flowing like a waterfall. The more I am waiting here, the more I am enjoying there and don’t forget Jannah is eternal.

7. Increase in worship. Start fasting every Mondays and Thursdays. It is sunnah! Fasting helps you and you can make lots of duas while you are fasting.

8. Read Qur’an daily and reflect upon it. It doesn’t matter if you do not get what you want here in this world, you still have the Hereafter. You have not lost anything. The affairs of a believer are good both in this world and the hereafter.

9. Keep doing good deeds and give more charity.

“Surely, Allah’s Mercy is [ever] near unto the good-doers.” (Qur’an 7:56]

Know that Paradise is not far away. So work hard for it and compete with other believers in righteousness.

Narrated ‘Abdullah (Radi Allahu Anhu): The Prophet (Sall Allahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) said, “Paradise is nearer to anyone of you than the Shirak (leather strap) of his shoe, and so is the (Hell) Fire. [8:495-O.B] Sahih Al Bukhari

Al-Mutanabbi said:

“Time has showered me with trouble until
The arrows on my heart have formed a cover,
That now when I am struck with an arrow,
The blade of it strikes into the shaft of another,
Now I live without a care for troubles
Since I have nor profited by caring.”

Lastly, according to the book “Don’t be Sad”, “Tribulation is similar to sickness: it must run its course before it goes away, and the one who is hasty in attempting to remove it often causes it to augment and increase. It is imperative that the one who is afflicted be patient; he must wait with hope for relief, and he must be persistent in his prayers.”

May Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala make it easy on the people who are seeking marriage Ameen

There is a beautiful dua you can recite:

“O Allah! Please grant me the one
Who will be the garment for my soul,
Who will satisfy half of my deen
And in doing so make me whole.
Make him righteous and on your path
In all he’ll do and say,
And sprinkle water on me at Fajr
Reminding me to pray.
May he earn from halal sources
And spend within his means,
May he seek Allah’s guidance always
To fulfill all his dreams.
May he always refer to Qur’an
and the Sunnah as his moral guide,
May he thank and appreciate Allah
For the woman at his side.
May he be conscious of his anger
And often fast and pray,
Be charitable and sensitive
In every possible way.
May he honor and protect me
And guide me in this life,
And please Allah! Make me worthy
to be his loving wife.
And finally, O Allah!
Make him abundant in love and laughter,
In taqwa and sincerity
In striving for the hereafter.
AMEEN! ” -Anonymous

I will now end with a quote:

“Good things come to those who wait.
Better things come to those who try.
Best things come to those who believe.
Desired things come to those who pray.” (Unknown)

Article submitted by Anonymous


74 responses to “Do not despair when it comes to marriage!”

  1. I am waiting with patience and i beleive in Allah that i will get the best person made for me by Allah, like Allah made Hawwa for Adam, i beleive he has made for me also

  2. Subhan Allah…and Jaza Kallah for posting this beautiful experience….this was like balm to my frustrated mind. Insha Allah, Allah Subhan Wa Ta'ala will give each one of us a righteous partner..Aameen.

  3. What would you say to me who wants to marry but has a diseases that can be transmitted to wife and children? I want to get married but i dont know how. If i tell it to my future wife, she will go away. If i don't i feel bad.

  4. i am losing hope as i'm too old and wish for a halal marriage to a man who will love me desperately. i wish suicide was allowed in islam.

  5. To AM,
    I would say Allah doesnt place anything on us that we can not bare. I don't know how u Contracted diseases nor is it my business. Buy for marriage purposes when u think of marrying someone u guys can both get tested and be honest with one another. Make lots of dua.
    Allah knows best.

  6. Sister,
    It saddens my heart to hear u speak this way. I will definitely keep u in my prayers. As muslims this is not how we think. U shouldnt want a man to desperately love u, but to be in love with u and u the same. Dont think that death is the easy way out because u ate beonh testing. Make plenty of sunnah prayers until u feel better mashaAllah! Read the story again posted above and remember that Allah is nearer to us than our jagular vein, reminding myself first. Allah created u, therefore, he knows ur desires. Maybe u have not been blessed with a halal husband because u may pit him before ur lord. Pray to Allah tjat u become nearer to him and may he bless for everything u ur life to come together. Please, work on urself, spiritually, physically and mentally.
    Again, reminding myself first and may Allah forgive us our sins, bless us with spacious graves, shed lots of light on our graves, protect us from the evil whispers of the sayan and his party and bless us with success in thos life and the hereafter-Ameen!

  7. jazak allah khair for your words – may allah (swt) grant you everything good your heart desires. you have no idea all the hardships i face in my life and i am always tested…it never ends. 🙁 and i always have to be the good one rescuing everyone whilst drowning in my own loneliness and nobody has helped me the way i have helped them – ever! i see so many married sisters who do not even appreciate their marriages + husbands. i would love my husband for the sake of allah (swt) – what is better than that in a spouse! i continue to beg allah (swt) this ramadhan for marriage. sorry to have bothered you + wasalaam.

  8. Wow your story sounds exactly like mine… especially the helping other people part. I have helped introduce brothers and sisters and a few of them ended up getting married Mash'Allah. I've gone out of my way to hook people up with jobs – and when you need their help for much simpler things where are they. I see girls that I was once interested in, but they went on to get married to other guys. These same guys are now mistreating them -and I know that I would have been a pious husband for them and treat them a lot better! The years have flown by and I'm 35 now and am starting to think that it will never happen for me. And when you get older you kind of lose that excitement to get married too… Here's to dying lonely!!!

  9. wow indeed! jazak allah khair for sharing your experiences. i make dua that you will get married to the woman of your dreams + please do be excited about getting married, even if you have to wear a faux engagement ring to motivate you [yes, i follow my own insane advice!]

    i have been reading the dua' of prophet musa (saw) which may help you to insha allah .

    Dua of Prophet Musa (as) (Surat al-Qasas; Quran 28:24)

    رَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَا أَنْزَلْتَ إِلَيَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَقِيرٌ

    Rabbi inni limaa anzalta ilayya min khayrin faqeer. [28:24]

    "My Lord, indeed I am in need of whatever good you send down to me."
    al-quran 28:24

  10. assalam aleykum brother,

    you can marry a sister with the same disease as yourself insha allah – that way there is no risk since you both have the similar condition. be honest, make dua, and hope for the best.

    wasalaam

  11. JazakAllah Khair for your duas and kind words 🙂 Insha'Allah I will read the Dua that you mentioned. I wish you all the best, and may Allah (SWT) grant you all that your heart desires.

  12. Thanks for the great Article, got a little relief. I am suffering for the same situation and looking for the right match and getting older too . its is so hard to trust a guy the way they play around.

    IA my prayers will be answered soon and will pray for all others who are searching for their soul mate.

  13. I have faith in Allah. I just don't have faith in humans. I have been messed around, taken advantage off, being lied to. All the things that can happen to me has happened to me. I have thought about suicide but I know it is not allowed. I have been praying To Allah. I really want to get married. I am 35 and divorced. That makes it even harder. Cos guys just want younger, prettier, never married. I don't want to wake up for the next 5 yrs of my life and have the same feeling of desperation. Oh Allah, please help me. I ask of you with every fibre of my body. please Lord.

  14. Even the divorced brothers refuse you? That is pathetic! I am sorry sister that you are experiencing this hardship and you are absolutely right about not having faith in humans. All you can really do is pray and wait, I know this is easier said than done. Read the dua' of Prophet Musa (saw) listed above and I pray that you find your true match soon, Insha Allah. On a side note, there is a Muslim website called "Eternal Garment" which is catered to divorced Muslims. 🙂 Please forgive me if I have said anything here to hurt you as my intention is to help you.

    Your sister in Islam.

  15. Just to clarify, you are not pathetic sister, but those brothers who are playing games and wasting time, are the pathetic ones who seriously need the guidance of Allah (swt).

  16. What do I do when the person I want to get married to is saying no because we're too young? We're 18 but I feel like we're mature for our age and stuff like money isn't really a issue.. I've been depressed for over a year and ive tried everything to make myself better, I even told my parents but everyone seems to think waiting is the answer? Why is it ok to everyone that im in pain? I know suicidal thoughts are SO bad but I really just want to give up

  17. Dear Sister,

    I am sorry you are experiencing this pain and I make dua' that Allah (swt) eases your suffering soon. The sad reality is that nobody ever wants to help anyone in pain and help them get married as humans are selfish beings. That is why you can only rely on Allah (swt) and beg him to ease your pain and force yourself not to focus on this man anymore as he is not your future. It sounds like he is making excuses not marry you and he does not deserve your heart and tears. Ask Allah (swt) for a wonderful spouse, and do not give up making this dua. Again, easier said than done.

    Forgive me as I do not know your story, but boyfriend/haram relationships always ends badly. It is never too young or too late to have faith that Allah (swt) will grant you the best spouse for you in due time, but not always on your time. You are a valuable human being, wise beyond your age, and no man is ever worth getting depressed over. Leave the past where it belongs. I read this quote recently: "Allah (swt) removes someone from your life to force your life into a better direction".

    Your Sister in Islam 🙂

  18. Salaams,

    I have a great story to tell.

    I being alone all my life , I live alone , the one day Some single muslimah contacted me , and to cut a long story short we both very interested to get married. And she was was perfect and I could never of dreamed of her , Allah (swt) chose her for me , as Allah (swt) knows whats best for me better than I know whats best for myself. I was really looking forward to married life , with all the joy's and happiness and struggles!
    If there was ever a REAL soul mate for me , she was it , I swear. She is a pious , sweet , loving young lady.

    Days , weeks of joy and happiness , the suddenly she literally changed her overnight! Now she told me she never wants to get married !!

    May Allah open her heart and bless her with Marriage , no muslimah should be alone and unmarried no matter how pious they are.

    Marriage is better than praying supererogatory prayers.

    I have been patient for years and , if my life passes by me without a wonderful wife then it would close to a tragedy , but atleast I am alive and able to fulfill my servitude to my Creator and Sustainer.

    Thank You and May Allah Bless all you.

  19. Dear Brother,

    May Allah (swt) grant you a wonderful wife soon.

    It is a sad story you have shared and that woman is selfish. Allah (swt) saved you from a lifetime of misery being married to her, so just leave her in the past where she belongs.

    It is nice to know there are men like yourself who are excited about getting married. I have noticed that it's the single muslims who truly appreciate marriage because we already understand how hard it is to be alone in this world. Please be excited about getting married as Insha Allah, it will happen for you too!

  20. Culture and race seems to be one of the biggest problems in marriage these days isn't it?

    Please keep me in your duas :') because that's the problem I've been going through since and I do not have anyone else to talk to about it except Allah. My good intention to get married to someone who is really committed to the deen, but he is outside my race (also outside my country) are being questioned, especially by parents.

    I hope one day Allah will soften their hearts and in shaa Allah I won't give up in seeking forgiveness for them. Ameen.

  21. i agree! islam allows it and it's still sooooooooooooo much better to marry a muslim outside your race then a non-muslim anyday. there's a higher chance of marital success. i make dua' that insha allah, we will all get married soon.

  22. I still would like to marry her when she changes her mind. she is my soulmate.she was just confused after her divorce, I will marry her next year inshaAllah. 🙂

    the best gift Allah can give to a man is a pious wife , she is my gift from Allah 'Azza wa Jall.

    Jazakallah Khayr.

  23. Assalamualaykum
    Maybe i am a little bit late and left behind
    But after reading the columns, with a few people sharing their experiece, I thought my problem was bad enough, but I think bro and sister posted their experiences here faced even worse scenario and may Allah reward you all for yout patience and may the sabr that you had be the REASON of Allah mercy and forgiveness on you that could save you from hellfire ( nau'zubillah).
    The man that I loved and knew for 11 years just got married recently. It was an 10-year struggle for me. How badly I wanted to stop thinking about him and let him go, but we just somehow got bounced back together, he even got engaged to a girl, and i was so distraught that i cut off any contacts with him. But he didnt get married to her and he was hoping to see me again. After losing touch for a year we met again thru fb, when we both are in two different countries, committed with out jobs and exams,, he wanted to marry me very badly,, but too many things fear him as he is committed to his job, neither does he allow me to stay in his country due to political situatuion and language barrier
    When I asked Allah to seperate us, he juz kept coming back, everytime i prayed istikharah, despite was having someone else, i would see his face, even though i was hoping to end up with somrone else ….did tried out with other guys,,, but i woukd bounce back to him…
    Thinking that he could be my destine,,,after so many solahs and doa i made, i decided to move on with him… but eventually he gave up. And he just got married to someonr in his country now, juz recently.
    It was a struggle that I went thru, and it was when i didnt want him very badly and hoping to meet someone else, just kept falling back to him, but when i started to believe in it,, it did not happen and finally he is married with someone else.
    I am grateful to Allah for giving me the patience, but I am just a human, cant deny that i do feel sad. I understand Allah does something FOR the servants…NOT against servants…believing in qada and qadar…
    It is really nice to hv a platform to share, this our part, Allah will not burden a man with what they cant bear..
    But i kept asking myself, was it my fault? That I am still not married till …or was it predestined thingy?

  24. Salam Alaykum, lovely article with great insight & duas.
    My situation is not as steep but I am definitely wanting to get married soon, by Allah (SWT)'s Will of course In Sha Allah.
    I've gone through phases where I'd pray for some time about it – and eventually give up thinking it's not yet time – but somehow it always re-enters my mind that this is what I really want – marriage.
    You made an important point here that will forever resonate with me – Don't give up.
    I will keep praying for myself and everyone else in my situation.

    In Sha Allah may we all get married soon, for His sake and succeed ourselves in Allah (SWT)'s purpose. Aameen.

    Also, whoever reads this please make dua for me, as I already feel like there is someone that is right for me and am hoping that Allah (SWT) will soon unionize us In Sha Allah. (Aameen)

    JazakAllah Khayr.

  25. You are being very foolish by giving that advice to this gentleman and you are not in any position to advise this brother. He should consult a doctor for advice. We do not know if the brother has HIV or Hepatitis B or C? Even if we did, he should talk to a health professional.

  26. Great article 🙂 I would like to share my thoughts regarding the subject. I am a 22 yr old muslimah and since teenage I am madly dreaming of a wonderfuly happily married life. Tbh I live in this dream. Yes i know its not at all practical but i cant help it.

    I know the reality is very different and its hard to find my Dream Guy and this thought, believe me, shatters me. But then the very next moment, i think about Allah and then i speak, plead, request, nag, cry, beg to Allah to grant me a husband according to my desires, truly truly believing that nothing is impossible for Him.

    Having said that, i just dont sit and dream lol, but i work for it. I try to be regular in namaz and I say tahajjud regularly. Yes if you want something desperately then say tahajjud as Allah is on the nearest heaven at that time to respond to our supplications.

    There are a number of surahs and duas that one should recite for a happy married life. I have researched alot regarding this : P so hope it will be helpful for you too.

    For a happy marriage: surah ahzab, surah taha, surah najam, surah rehman, surah mumtahina, surah naba, surah shams, surah duha, surah inshirah and at tahajjud recite surah yasin (ayat 36) 100 times and dua hajat regularly.

    For any evil eye or effect of black magic: manzil, surah ikhlaas, surah falaq and surah naas.

    Recite the following:
    Rabbi inni ilma anzalta ilayya min Khairin faqeer. (28:24)
    "O My Lord! Truly am I in (desperate) need of any good that You bestow on me!"

    Recite surah Furqan Ayat 74,75 & 76…. 21 times for 3 days & pray for nikah

    Surah Tariq Ch86 especially on Arafat day and Surah Yusuf on 1,2 and 3 ramadan each.

    HasbiyAllahu la ilaha illa Huwa, Alaihi Twakkaltu wa huwa Rabbul ‘Arshil ‘Azeem
    "Allah is sufficient (for all things), there is no God but him, to him i put my trust and he is the Lord of the great throne"
    Allah will grant whoever recites the last vers of Surah Tawbah 7 times in the morning and in the evening (time of fajr and asr), whatever he wants in the world or the next. -Ibn As-sunni (no- 71), Abu Dawud 4/321.

    Beside all this make lots and lots of dua, be a good Muslim and try to impress Allah and InSha Allah, Allah will suffice us but the condition is that we must put our trust in Him and keep our intentions pure.

    I believe that its an extremely mature approach. Instead of getting into relationships, playing with others emotions and not being able to fulfill promises and misleading commitments etc etc we must build a strong relationship with Allah and trust me He will provide sustanence beyond our imaginations.
    "And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if any one puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him. For Allah will surely accomplish his purpose: verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion." (65:3)

    So Let Go and Let God. Do pray for me and good luck with life.

    JazakAllah Khair 🙂

  27. JazakAllah Khair for all the wonderful info you have provided.

    I will edit the article at the end by pasting all that you wrote with full credit given to you.

    May Allah (SWT) grant you a righteous spouse and may He grant everyone else the same and more. Ameen.

  28. brother, please always use kind words when you are addressing fellow muslims. allah (swt) may forgive their ignorance but may never forgive your arrogance.

  29. Salam Alaykum & Great Article,

    I would like to ask, if you like some one , can we ask Allah (SWT) for the specific person in a dua???

    I am very confused, I like some one and even he likes me but he is engaged already and he doesn't like that girl.
    He is good person, but the situation is he is very sad about his relationship with his finance. His feels his heart is not happy with her fiancé.

    He keeps telling me that he likes me and wants to send his family for a proposal.

    I would like your advice, should we accept his offer as I like him too.

    I am always asking Allah to help me do the right as I don't want to guide anyone on a wrong path.

    I hope to get a better advice here.

    Thanks,

  30. Assalam Alaykum Sister,

    Jazak Allahu Khayran for your advice. I would like to ask from where in the Quran and Sunnah have you found these:

    "For a happy marriage: surah ahzab, surah taha, surah najam, surah rehman, surah mumtahina, surah naba, surah shams, surah duha, surah inshirah and at tahajjud recite surah yasin (ayat 36) 100 times and dua hajat regularly.

    Recite surah Furqan Ayat 74,75 & 76…. 21 times for 3 days & pray for nikah

    Surah Tariq Ch86 especially on Arafat day and Surah Yusuf on 1,2 and 3 ramadan each."

    Please let me know. Jazak Allahu Khayran 🙂

  31. Walaykum Assalam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barkatuhu

    You can certainly ask Allah SWT for anything you want.

    Allah Almighty says in the Qur'an:

    "When my servants ask you concerning me, (tell them) I am indeed close (to them). I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when he calls on me." [2:186]

    The place of du'a is so high to Allah, that the Prophet had said: "Nothing is more honourable to Allah the Most High than du`a." [Sahih al-Jami` no.5268]. He also said: "The most excellent worship is du`a." [Sahih Al-Jami` no. 1133]; and in order to warn those who are arrogant, or careless in making du'a, the Prophet said: "The most incapable person is the one who does not make du`a, and the most miserly person is the one who does not give salaam." [Sahih Al-Jami` no. 1055], and further, said: "If one does not ask Allah, He will get angry with him." [Sahih al-Jami` no.2414]

    However I suggest asking Allah SWT to grant you what is best for you and change your intentions as in (wanting to marry someone solely for the sake and pleasure of Allah SWT). The reason why you want to marry? Ask yourself. Is it for Allah's sake and pleasure? Then once you have asked yourself, make this dua "O Allah, please grant me what is best for me!" Ameen

    As for someone you like, I suggest waiting until he brings the proposal to your family and being patient at the moment.

    I would like to share this hadith with you:

    Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim from Abu Hurayrah (Radi Allahu Anhu), who said: "The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said:

    'Do not outbid one another (in order to raise prices artificially); do not undercut one another, a town dweller should not sell something on behalf of a Bedouin, a man should not propose to a woman to whom his brother has already proposed; a woman should not ask for the divorce of another so that she might deprive her of everything that belongs to her."

    If he is already engaged, I suggest just waiting until he makes up his mind and sort this out by himself. It would be unfair for his fiance (another muslim sister) be proposed and get rejected especially when family members are involved due to the engagement. Allah knows best.

  32. I hope that you do not advertise in future that you are waiting to marry this soulmate, because there could be another wonderful female readint this who is interested in you, but declines to say anything to you, because she feels that you will not be interested in meeting someone new.

    All the best duas to you

  33. Thisis very sexist! a woman growing old and nobody wanting her? how are you different than those gossiping women in desi,arab,middle eastern culture who threaten young females to settle with any rich guy or she will end up old and unwanted! a woman has mroe value and self worth than that! and your story is not even true! so not only are you treating women like milk with expiration dates..but you also made up the story you wanted to use to justify your point(or lack thereof)
    where a guy can remain a bachelor to his 90's!!! and you wonder why women feel isolated and pressured in this life

  34. Because unfortunately, this is the true reality amongst the Muslim community. This is why we are on this forum because the author is advising both women and men to have patience and faith in God no matter what age we are because Insha'allah (God Willing) our wish will be fulfilled and we will all get married hopefully sooner rather than later.

    In Islam marriage is very important. We are not allowed to take part in pre-marital relationships and it is also the only way to have children. So because quite a lot of Muslims find it difficult, this forum is helping us all to pray to God and have faith. It's helping us Muslims to get through this difficult time and it really works.

  35. I am so woorried becoz people have rejected me becoz my sisters r divorced… I feel so judged for mistakes and decisions that I did nt make… wht shld I do? Allah is the only one who can help for I really dont knw wht to do!

  36. Asalamu Alaykum Wa Rahhmatulloh Wa Barakatu…!
    How r u my dear friend? I hope Allah is please with you and everyone on earth and in universe…!
    Dont worry but fear Allah, u cant get married for a reason that you're not ready yet, ur not ready because u have not reach certain level in faith, u know we have shayton on our back and a angle, our body can live up to 100 years right, but our mind lives 100000 years, and in there we go through a lot of test and building our self and personality, remember this u can never ever trust anyone 100%, even they r ur parents or your children, we all have shaytan on our back since were born until we give our last breath, u can give trust only 80% and save 20% for them to fail, forgive, theire death any moment, wispier of shayton, and change of heart , but u have to build trust in Allah 100000000000 even more as much as you can, u need to understand and use it in your life this 5 aspect they r:
    1) Sense
    Sense tells you that Allah SWT is with you every minute and beyond seconds Al- Hayumm, Al-Qayumm Al- Baqi , Al-Raqib, Al-Shahid, Al-Hisab…and your senses tell you not to fear anything, meaning death, falling, humane, animal, machine, shayton, darkness, jinn, doubt etc,,,, but convert them to fear Allah, Allah SWT created them for you to fear him, how do u convert them ? You say in that moment in that second " I fear Allah SWT" or "Auzubillah= I seek refuge in Allah" and your heart will become very strong if you have true believe without doubt …
    2) Brian
    Brian Has over 10000000 gigabytes only Allah knows the definition Al-Alime al-Hakim… and as you know that Allah has given permission to shayton to access your memory, heart and sometime sense to trick you….that why we live as a physically 100 years but in mind we live 100000 years, before used to be 1000 years physically , but Thank to Almighty Allah has decreed our age, so thats why Allah says in quran how u could save yourself from long life, because we do lot of thinking right ..
    3) Heart
    Heart is like a empty bottle thrown in the ocean, if you have hate, envy, evil, sad, dirty, dishonest, greed in your heart will since to the bottom of the ocean and turn in dark rock, but if have Allah, believe, love, appreciation, forgiveness, joy, friendship it will come back up and it will become a cloud. You can replace your hate for someone or any remembrance that you of anyone or any place or a thing with Allah SWT names Glory be to his Mercy he has given us over 99 names. Muhammad Sallal Laho Alaihi Wasallam Peace be upon him says that there is a meat in the body if it is pure then hole body is pure, if it is dirty then hole body is dirty.. and our heart is connected to our soul just like machine start working, and just like we believe in Allah and we cry, and we put our trust in him in hard or easy times, and when you do spiritual awakening in other words use soul to connect with Allah. Thats why it is very muchly recommended pray Tahajjud (night pray) our prophets and angles recommended us very much. At night your heart is more likely is at peace and Allah is more closer..

  37. 4) Soul
    Our soul has the knowledge about hell and heaven, because we go there some time in this world while ur alife we only spend 20% of our life in this world, others in different dimension like when we sleep, or when we day dream Allah takes us many worlds and time back, in earth we have 7 dimensions, in our milky way we have 18 dimensions only Allah knows the best. And your soul is connected to the heart that why in many places in Quran says you have sink yourself in dirt….
    5) B4 anything or anyone is Allah
    Before speaking u have to ask Allah permission because his the giver of knowledge, u have to increase your (Zikir and Fikir) prayers and your thoughts u have to make it so over 100% if u can do that u will be put in lots of battles with shayton and u will increase yourself not just in believe but also how to resolve your situation and your heart will be in TRUE peace, this worldly life ( money, wealth, husband or wife, children, house, or work) has no power over your heart if you guided right.. Just like you say your Muslim or convert to islam you also have to convert your personality as well, when your feeling very angry in that moment stop yourself and say Lla illah ila allah muhammad rasul allah, the next time you get angry Allah will ask dont u fear me ? ( note: this is because of zikir and fikir is went over 100%)

    Once you understand that and use that in life then u will learn how to see Allah SWT sings in a tremendous way, and thats how u will become Wali of Allah… And you will also learn how or when you will get married because Allah will give you the knowledge and understand of how Al-Halim works
    Al-Halim is when u have supreme patients with right wisdom first is for Allah its his name so Glorify him first then learn how to use them in life. All 99 names has definition to definition ask Allah he will teach u because his name is Al-Rashid the teacher.. You have to learn it by how to define it in Brian , heart , and Sense.. Sense He can teach you only because He will give you lots of sings( note: He gives his sings to all of his creations and he talks to them all dont think Allah doesn't speak to you, He does but then He erases your memory but you will remember by ur soul.. Just like heaven He erases your memory because you won’t appreciate this world, and hell too He erases your memory because you will live in fear of dying)
    Good luck my dear brothers and sisters hope this helped all the preciation belongs to Allah Alhamdulilah …
    I couldn't fit it all in one page sorry lol …

  38. I've read all of your stories and I want to share u my everyday struggle that makes me suffer and getting down easily quite often.
    I am only son of my parents.Living in the West from many years although I come from Southern Asia.
    I am exhausted of my loneliness….It's a costant since my childhood.Sometimes I feel so weak and depressed that I start thinking that may be I ll never get married or My loneliness will be with me up to death..
    I have no friends,just two university non-muslim colleagues and 2-3 family friends.That's it.My relatives,like cousins live all in my birth country…

    I hate my loneliness and I continue wondering why my marriage is delaying.In my opinion I had to get married before than some guys I know just because I spent a difficult childhood and adolescence,too….I continue thinking that is not fair with me because being single is exhausting me physically and mentally…
    I ask myself also why Allah doesn't help me in my loneliness as I always try my best to help people in their little needs when they ask me for.I don't know why….
    24 years of loneliness spending an empty life…
    SOmetimes Shaytan make me feel that I should give up…because is too much.My loneliness is influencing me day after day that I find very hard concentrating on studies.It seems that I don't like to do anything.
    No enjoyment.nothing.
    Why is like that my life?
    People and parents say :' wait wait…wait….degree than master than job…'
    While I am getting weak and angry about life…I see many brothers getting married at 22-23 when they spent their childhood growing up among the love of relatives,grandparents,cousins,friends….but I didn't …so why I am not married? Allah loves me but I am exhausted…I love helping others but sometimes I wish I would be helped…as a human being that need a soul mate to live and be loved in Allah's path.

  39. Salam
    I've read all of your stories and I hope we all get married soon in sha Allah because loneliness is very hard to manage. I want to share u my everyday struggle that makes me suffer and getting down easily quite often.
    I am only son of my parents.Living in the West from many years although I come from Southern Asia.
    I am exhausted of my loneliness….It's a costant since my childhood.Sometimes I feel so weak and depressed that I start thinking that may be I ll never get married or My loneliness will be with me up to death..
    I have no friends,just two university non-muslim colleagues and 2-3 family friends.That's it.My relatives,like cousins live all in my birth country…

    I hate my loneliness and I continue wondering why my marriage is delaying.In my opinion I had to get married before than some guys I know just because I spent a difficult childhood and adolescence,too….I continue thinking that is not fair with me because being single is exhausting me physically and mentally…
    I ask myself also why Allah doesn't help me in my loneliness as I always try my best to help people in their little needs when they ask me for.I don't know why….
    24 years of loneliness spending an empty life…
    SOmetimes Shaytan make me feel that I should give up…because is too much.My loneliness is influencing me day after day that I find very hard concentrating on studies.It seems that I don't like to do anything.
    No enjoyment.nothing.
    Why is like that my life?
    People and parents say :' wait wait…wait….degree than master than job…'
    While I am getting weak and angry about life…I see many brothers getting married at 22-23 when they spent their childhood growing up among the love of relatives,grandparents,cousins,friends….but I didn't …so why I am not married? Allah loves me but I am exhausted…I love helping others but sometimes I wish I would be helped…as a human being that need a soul mate to live and be loved in Allah's path.

  40. insha allah i hope you get married soon dear brother as i understand how you feel. 20+ years of loneliness and watching everyone else get married is cruel and unfair. i know as i am in this dire situation too. people are selfish and will never help anyone else, especially the married friends – for jealousy perhaps, especially among the sisters. but one thing i know for sure brother, is that everyone i have encountered even for a brief second like with you now, gets married..,whilst i remain forever single as if i never existed. so brother, i can assure you with certainty that you are next, insha allah! 🙂

  41. Hello, I felt relieved to read all your stories and now I don't feel like the only miserable one around. I am a 25 year old muslimah and am completely ready for marriage.. and crave it.. except there is no one. I dont get any proposals, I got one once from a much divorced older man with a kid and I said no because he was too different. If I get no halal proposals.. seems the only way it to date.. and that makes me very uncomfortable. But everyone else is taking matters into their own hands instead of leaving it to their parents and they are happily married.

    It just sucks that no one even shows interest in me at social gatherings .. because I am told I am not approachable to men because I look too "decent" and don't let loose. I used to be proud of being good.. now it seems to get me nowhere. I dont want to end up old and alone..

  42. May allah help you with your journey but maybe you should expand your selection process a bit wider. You will not a brother who is 100% because no one is 100%. Be reasonable, there are many brothers who want to get married but lack the ability to approach sisters. Sisters are acting very hard to get looking for mr 100%. All in all many brother want to get married need help to make the first step.

  43. what is the reference for reciting xyz surah so many times for marriage. unless its stated in hadith and is referenced please do not cite it. These reciting of xyz surahs 100 x etc is baseless unless referenced along with hadith. The writer of this article should cross reference or you are misleading many people.

  44. Assalamu aleykum..
    I am very much confused in my life..
    Actually the thing is i was waiting for 1 boys marriage proposal, since 3 years he has told his parents about our relationship, they are sumras, and we are mehmons..
    His Parents doesn't want us to marry, and tried to create problems between us since 3 years,
    her mother came to my home, telling that we cannot stop our son from talking to this girl, so please tell your daughter not to talk with my son.
    We had too much arguments on this matter too, but still the boy says that because of them why u fighting with me.. i have not send them at your place naa..
    this was his answer..
    Since 3 years His parents were telling that as your elder brothers engagement is fixed we will do your engagement..with that girl..
    Now his elder brother has got engaged before 15 days..
    Now his parents say the how can we do your marriage with that girl, what will people say. Do 1 thing, do court marriage with that girl, and we will take u a house far from here..

    When i listen these words my heart and mind was completely in shock.. i couldn't bear the pain.. due to continuous giving time for 3 long big years my health has been so much disturbed that every day i am suffering from deep depression, panic, anxiety and allot of stress..

    My marriage age is fading day by day, all other marriage proposals are going in rejection.

    but now 1 marriage proposal is there which fulfills more then some of my expectations, but i am so much afraid to take the right decision.
    I dont know that will i forget this first guy, my decision for my life would be correct to marry the other guy, or this is another exam from allah.
    I dont know whom to ask what is in my favour. what should i do..
    please guide me to right path.

  45. Eat honey and kalonji (black seeds) until the disease goes away. Up the dosage if need be. Eat it with the sincere intention that it is shifa and also make sure it is organic and hasn't been tampered with. There is a cure for every disease. Did you hear about some of the doctors who have cured aids, hiv and cancers etc? The reason you do not hear about this in mainstream media is because this corporations would rather keep selling you the treatment than give you the cure. They make more money that way.

  46. Those are golden words. I met a family along with my parents, through a third party family which spoke highly of both of us, we both (families and people of interest) liked each other much in the first meeting. We met again where the second meeting was basically us calling them over to see if they are interested and they were.

    Long story short, I too was rejected but it was especially painful because at first her family agreed to an engagement and only after a week later called and decided against it. To add to the emotional pain, humiliation, and a still omnipresent feeling of self pity/ guilt/ rejection in my life, was the fact that I really liked the girl. She had everything I could hope for (religious, kind, caring, educated, passionate in her interests) and to date I am not able to figure out a single trait I didn't like. So I really wish for two things;

    * Either I had never met her, as my life before this event was joyful.

    * Or one day out of the blue they call for a re-consideration which is pretty much a fool's hope.

    To this day (1 month since rejection) I am unable to put a straight face around my family and friends. My loved ones have noticed a spike of aggression in me which I did too and am trying to control self.

    I think its VERY wrong of people to give hope/ build bridge at first then as guests are about to cross it, destroy it with a sorry. While people have every right to say NO, they should do so in a proper way and give a REAL reason and not paper bag excuses.

    In the end, I know I could have been a great husband/ father/ caretaker with no limits on love to offer.

    This may seem being like a cry baby over one rejection but trust me, once you are in my shoes, you'll be here re-reading the post.

    At the moment I am picking up the shattered pieces of my self-esteem and putting them back together and praying to God he saves me from another such event and instead grants me someone that can notice the qualities I have to offer.

  47. It was probably not meant to be for you. Maybe it was something not good for you. You should be thanking Allah Swt that it didn't come your way. You may find it the best proposal for you but Allah knows better. Maybe Allah Swt will give you someone better. Make dua insha Alah and do not lose hope. This is Ramadan and it's the best time to be energized to do lots of ibaadan and focus on your relationship with Allah Swt. Expect the best from Him.

    May Allah Swt grant you a righteous spouse who would be the coolness of your eyes Ameen

    Don't be upset over what has gone. Insha Allah May the best one come your way

  48. Thank you for the kind words and advice. It most probably wasn't as you said. I pray for them as well and wish them a happy life.

  49. I want to share my testimony on how i was able to get back my husband last few months and with the help of Dr Ekaka because my man left me for over 3years and went on with another lady and i was unable to move on with my life because of the love i have for him last month i saw a testimony on the internet on how Dr Ekaka help someone with love spell so i never believe it but just have to try my faith which i did and i contacted him on his email: ekakaspelltemple@yahoo.com and he told me what i need to do and after 2days i received a call from my husband asking me to come back to him it was all like a dream to me i am so happy now as we are back together again thanks to Dr Ekaka and i will advice anyone in need of help to contact him.

  50. I am 22 and I have never gotten a proposal. My parents are not even trying to help me and telling me to wait. They keep me isolated from others so we don't know anyone. I don't even have any friends, no social life or anything. I don't work so I am at home all the time so it would be difficult for any guy to even know me because no one really knows I exist. Once I told my parents about someone I became interested in and it backfired on me. They even banned me from going to the masjid because that guy went to that same masjid. Note I never talked to the guy and barely knew anything about him except the fact he was of good character. They said no because he was a different race and two years younger than me. So eventually I gave up. All I could do is sit and wait in isolation. I used to be really depressed for before for years because I kept hearing how everyone's getting married etc. except me, but now I am not really depressed or anything. I am actually at a point where I don't give marriage importance anymore as I did before. I am just neutral about it because I can't try myself and neither can a guy know about me. And no zina, online marriage sites or anything of this sort are not an option…so marriage is like whatever to me. Don't get me wrong I am not some sort of man hater feminist, anti-marriage or anything I am actually the exact opposite, but I just don't care about it anymore. If it was in my destiny it would happen, if not then not.

  51. Wow, your story is so similar to mine, im 28 year old muslim guy who has never been married. I see all of my cousins married off once they are 25-27 years old. I don't even have the desire anymore to get married Ever because of the financial condition I am in. I have 2 more years until I reach 30 and I don't even want to think what it will be like when im 35 and not married. I think your right about getting older and loosing the interest to get married. When I was 5 years younger I had the desire to get married but once the years passed by the more and more I lost the interest especially when I saw my male cousins who were younger than me getting married. I guess it was just meant for me to never to be married. Your not alone in your struggle bro.

  52. I honestly wish the best for you, and many others who are in the same situation insahallah. Have patients in Allah, only he knows whats best for you.

  53. I was 15 when I fell in love with a guy…he was very knowledgeable and his character inspired me…I loved him so much..so did he but somehow we couldn't get married… I spent my entire teenage..hiding my tears from my family…crying at night…my face was tarnished because of it..i got blemishes here and there…i suffered every hour..every single day…
    After 5 years…there came a man who just started loving me…he has pulled me out of that depression and my relations with my own family have become better..
    But his mother…wants him to get married to his cousin…she is very attached to him too..But he doesn't want to marry her… Just that obedience to mother has chained his feet…They are engaged now :'(
    I dont know what to do…I don't want to be hurt again…it is like my capacity to love has exhausted…
    Please I beg you all to pray for us…and the nobody has his/her heart broken…Please pray that the odds turn into our favour…
    Amen…

  54. Assalamu alaikum,

    Thank you to the author of this page. It is very useful and a comfort – May Allah SWT reward your efforts. I know how loneliness feels but I also realise now that this life is racing by and we will be gone sooner than we realise. I am trying to not let it take over my life. I like to think that I should just busy myself with trying to accumulate all the good deeds I can. We must not lost hope but also remember that even if we do not get married here as long as we have sabr and remain faithful to Allah SWT, then can you imagine what our marriages will be like in Jannah? I pray all the Muslims find spouses who are beautiful inside and out and they will be one another's garments and the coolness of one another's eyes. Dear Muslims, you have my duas. From an old soul with a young heart :o)

  55. Women only want monies, if you dont have or having less monies women would not come to you…that's the reality of life. So the moral of the story is, when you have monies women come to you.

    A woman would say, "I love you", what she actually meant was "I love your monies and if you do not have them i would leave you".

  56. Assalamualaikum , please make a dua for me to get good proposals and my desires to come true … jazakallah

  57. M not muslim girl.. but i do believe in allah si much from my bottom of my heart. My morning start with allah nd my night end with allah by Remembering him in my every word in my heart. Its give so much strength nd faith for self.

  58. But plzz anyone help me… m in so problem.Plz i beg u all.. plz listen me nd my prblm… i dont kniw where m going nd my lyf..
    M scared for myself.. its just killing me day by day.. plzz anyone help me..
    I do remenber allah in my every word from my heart i call him to listen my duaa..
    M in so problem…:'( :'(

  59. I'm a 22 year old female. One of my schoolmate expressed his interest in getting married to me. We've known each other since high school. I told my parents about him since I felt it would be good to get married to someone whom I've known for 5-6 years. My parents were not willing to hear my side at all. We both speak the same language and are from the same state but different district. My parents' problem is that he is from different place. He do have a job and a good family. I stopped all my contacts with him since since my father asked me to.Through a friend he expressed his wish to talk to my father and to give him a chance. My parents have already agreed to meet a guy and I dont know what to do. Im mentally broken down. Ive heard so much from my parents. A guy once even rejected me cause of my physical appearance. Since then i felt it was good to be married to someone whom I know. I am totally confused. I pray. Make dua. But now i dont know what decision to take. Whether or not i should ask my schoolmate to speak to my father or leave it. My father was not ready to speak to him before. I dont know how my father will react.

  60. Assalamualikum dear fellow depressed brothers and sisters.

    I know all of us are here because we all are missing half our deen and have almost lost hope in our endeavors. InShaaAllah I am going to pray for you all to get your better halves soon.

    I actually wanted to vent my heart out somewhere and have no one to tell my story so I have chosen this site because I know there are lots of people here who can understand my state of mind.

    I am a 26 year old never married girl. But my problem is that I look like a 50 year old grandma. I am extremely fat although I eat a normal diet ( it's hereditary so can't help it much ). My complexion is brown and have loads of pimples. I have dark circles around my eyes which make me look horrible. Most people even tend to avoid talking to me because of these reasons.

    But the problem does not end here …. I was born to the most beautiful couple. Both my mom and dad are extremely beautiful people and both of them still get loads of marriage proposals for themselves. This is the most saddening fact I have been living throughout my life.

    When people meet my mom and dad and come to know that they have a fully grown daughter they immediately befriend them thinking of getting married their son to me and then as soon as they see me …. BOOM!!!! They never come back. Nobody believes that I am their daughter. Everybody mocks me saying that I have been adopted. Some people even think that I am my mom's mom or elder sister.

    Until now I have not met a single person who is interested to marry me or someone who wants to recommend me as a bride to their son or any relative or friend.

    Most of my younger cousins, friends and their much younger siblings have got married. People are taunting me wherever I go.

    And the icing on the cake is that soon my younger sister is set to get married. Alhamdullilah she is happily engaged and I am also very happy for her. But another problem is that weddings here are very expensive affair. Both bride and groom family must throw a very lavish wedding and reception …. if one can't afford it, then nobody will consider marrying them. My father's income is quiet menial and he is spending all his life's saving to get my younger sister married, and now nothing much is left for my marriage.

    I am hopeless and completely broken now …. people are getting ready to see my face on my younger sister's wedding ……. to see if I am jealous or what's my reaction is going to be, just to mock me. I am not jealous and very happy for her but at same time I also want a partner to spend my life. The pain is just unbearable now.

    Please dear brothers and sisters, pray for me. Pray that someone comes along soon who is interested in me. Please pray that he marries me in a simple ceremony without having my father to spend a penny. All the precious supplications are greatly valuable to me right now.

    JazakAllah Khairan

  61. Same here, sister. I am 26, only child with no friends or any social life. We aren't even attached to any relatives. Studied in girls school, girls college. My family have not yet even started searching proposal for me. Even I don't exist on this planet. Even my parents have no friend circle. We are all by ourselves.

    But I love this guy who is my cousin. I just saw him once long time ago and we never met later. Then last year I tried to befriend him online and said I was interested in him but he said he sees me just as some acquaintance that's it! I am totally shattered. Broke with no sign of recovering.

  62. Very true! It is mentionned in the sunnah about the benefits of black seeds as a cure to all deseases except death of course if God wills.

  63. What i can say for this beautiful article..Jazakallah kahir kaseeran for you ..May ALLAH SWT reward you for this and bless you in both world.

    Ameen Ya Rabbul Alamaeen

    keep making dua for us 🙂

  64. That story was very rude! Of the girl getting older and committing suicide! What the heck is she supposed to do? Lower her standards so she can tell the world she's married to some random guy off the street? Any guy who doesn't marry someone due to age is an idiot and not worth it!
    And u wonder why ppl can't stand these superficial muslim communities

  65. Am a 30 years old lady still unmarried lol its not the end of the world trust Allah everything will happen when its time..

  66. Its not end of world but people make your living difficult for u. I have been praying to Allah in tahajad, in fasting,in salaate hajat but don't know why my prayers are not answered .. Might b fault lies in me but seriously I really want Allah Pak to sit before me and I may ask him whatever I want … I want to beg him by holding his feet until he says kun for my wishes and my desires

  67. Nice advice, but try not to add your two cents too such a serious issue, there are many attractive sisters, of which men flock too, simply because of their beauty alone, when you seek someone simply on the basis of their looks, don't be upset if you get rejected on the basis of yours…… People, especially men need to be more realistic about the women they seek, if your a 2 out of 10 in the looks department, don't become bitter when a 9 out of ten rejects you,

  68. I wasn't able to read this article because the background was making my eyes CRAZY!!! Please choose a better background like plain white and change it.